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the Spiraling....

44 years ago today I was thrust into this chaotic world. I don't have many memories from my past and the ones I do have tend to be more painful than not. My life has cycled thru so many ups and downs, that I begin to lose track of time periods when asked about better parts of my life. The past six months have definitely pulled me into a downward spiral that achingly would not loosen its grip. But breath by breath, I unfurl. Its a slow process. A constant reminder !to exhale and let go. This too, shall pass. Its a cycle. A rebirth. Seems I have had so many of those in this lifetime. Many times I just want to give up. The strained relationship with my husband is beginning to heal as we learn to appreciate each other as friends again... parents to this amazing child. That is all that matters. Seperate paths now but healing hearts. We want to be our best selves for her... and for ourselves. I hate photographing my face. But today, this day of celebration I share with you...just me. As I look at these photos, I am reminded not of the deep set lines on my face that surely some doctor could remove, but the glow of my eyes that reminds me of the spirit I hold deep within. I look not upon the loosening skin of my flesh but the strong shoulders that helped me carry the burden of this aching heart. I overlook the protruding veins in my hands and open them with gratitude to all my tribe who carried me when I couldn't step forward, to my wonderful physicians who healed my body this past year. I worry not over the tangled mess of my wild mane but breathe in the deep aroma of my tresses that reminds me I am alive. I can heal. My yoga is my home. My breath is my anchor. My poses, my prayer. Each day. Every day. Healing is a process. And we must do it over and over. In our own way. I am blessed for every sweet soul that reached out to me on this beautiful day and with an open heart and compassion for myself and all beings...


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