the Brain...(on Detox mode)
So this is your brain…
This is your brain on the cleanse.
This is your brain not wanting to let go...
your body moving into habitual patterns.
so has is been my life for the last seven years...
Constantly moving back into those habitual patterns.
I constantly stay in motion. (I am not being facetious or over exaggerating...
at all)
I am...
always moving
always thinking
always creating
always building
always growing
always teaching
always taking care of someone.
I AM ALWAYS MOVING!
Even when I’m sitting still, my foot is tapping, my leg is bouncing, I’ve got three projects in my mind I am processing. I multitask constantly. I am planning family calendars, yoga classes, my new art projects, inventory, advertisements, menus, emails…
adding one more thing to my daily calendar
and on and on and on.
My ex-husband complained that I was busy working all the time. My current sweetheart begs me just to come sit beside him on the couch and watch a show so he can touch me and be near me (I mean really, I don’t blame him, who could keep up with my pace anyway?)
I’m sure I look like a flurry of motion as I move through the house doing all my chores, planning and working...organizing.
I know he tells me to sit...
so I will rest,
so I will stop.
He knows his touch is calming to me. But I won’t allow myself that nurturing when there so many things to do...
who has time for all that?
...with so many lists to check off?
I have come to find most people are like this. Our loved ones just begging for us to slow down and pay attention to them... sometimes it’s not even for them but for us...
they see our need.
Even if physically,
we do not outwardly appear in motion, we are working on at least five things at one time. We may be able to pay attention as we are formulating three things in our mind, but give us more than five preoccupations...
that is when we glaze over...
That...
that....
is when they start to notice!
Often times I share my anecdotal stories of my life in my yoga classes.
My students always respond back “...but I sleep great, I can relax, I take time for myself... Micki you should really care of yourself the way you take care of your students.”
(and after a few minutes of them telling me all the great things they do for themselves, they then tell me...)
“My neck has been really tight or I have this tension that just won’t go away in my back.”
I digress… Let’s take a moment to fast forward to just a glimpse of my home, my life, my neurotic thinking....
I had a wonderful class this morning. I talked to my students after for a few extra minutes so I was anxious about getting to my next meeting with Dr. Karen. We needed to review our manual for the workshop we would team teach this weekend. Like most people, having inspiring meetings makes us reel with excitement and ideas so I was greatly looking forward to this one.
After our meeting, I rushed home to make my notes and plan an even better class... while trying to send a voice message to my sweetheart... checking in with him and telling him I love him... while checking my mental calendar to see what I’ve forgotten this morning... while thinking of my daughter...while a notification scrolled past that my ex-husband uploaded all their pictures from this past weekend at the zoo to our shared folder... while thinking of my sweet friend that I need to go visit and give her some of my artwork.
All this..
to the point...
of almost rear ending car..
a tourist missed his turn and slammed on the brakes.
I was watching where I was driving, </