the Kiss...

Everything we do has purpose...

ˈpərpəs: noun 1. the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists. It is...motive, motivation, grounds, cause, occasion, reason, point, basis, justification... 

It is our intention or objective...

I collect shells and driftwood.  I build with large power tools. I make homemade gifts (because they mean more) and I play hard with those I love (even though I am a bit squirrelly most days). 

I empower my child. I draw on streets, eat chocolate and and I teach. 

I craft and hunt trees and paint when I need to be still and quiet. 

but somedays...

Somedays aren't great. 

So I sit. 

I stay quiet. 

I fold and release anything not serving me into this gracious earth. 

Somedays I just lay on my mat. 

... and that's okay. 

Somedays I am not my best self. 

Today I am angry, irritable, bristly… 

After 44 years of people telling and labeling me as bitchy, a complainer, self-centered...I have learned (in order to save a lot of heart aches of being misunderstood) to sense my own prickliness as it arises ...

and remove myself. 

To just be still, 

quiet, 

hover around the periphery and release control. 

This way I don't inflict my progressive emotions on others. 

I have no right to do that. 

Today for that matter, this week...

I feel those thorns pushing through the surface of my skin almost as if it were a physical sensation. 

I know the beach, the surf and the waves, the wind, the sand, the warmth... 

it will help provide a retreat simply because of the expanse of space, sound, and water...

the distractions are many... for us all. 

As everyone filters in their respective directions, I can be still, contemplative, thoughtful, 

or at least that's what it seems to others. 

When in actuality, I am protecting them. 

"I give you space to explore, to be you, so I can withdraw and be me." 

I can't find me with all these sharp external sensations. 

I love those around me enough to know and see who I really am in these moments.

Everything we do has a purpose. 

I watch for a while...

the swim, 

the socialization, 

the structures they build in the sand, 

the bonding, 

the strength building, 

the fortresses,

the shell seeking, 

the next project, 

the next shell...

My purpose really is seclusion…